Hack of the week

[Legs Akimbo]

I have been running out of inspiration for 'hack of the week' after only three weeks on the job. I have been busy at work and my original burst of energy has all but abated. Furthermore, self doubt and various base attacks have left me wondering if Legs Akimbo woud be better served spending his time in speculative currency trading, or looking up old school friends, when the urge to work wanes towards the end of the day.

So last week I had resolved to cop out and award 'hack of the week' to the Soccoroos in a two line effort. By the soccoroos foiled my plan by beating Uruguay. Michael Clarke could have taken the award (maybe three lines), but it seems Fairfax is already on the job.

So looking around for inspiration I came across this site...

Christmas hamper pack

Since when does a coffee mug cost $35, even if it does have 'Leo Barry - Mark in Time' printed on it. But I digress and it is not feasible to award hack of the week to a website, albeit one that has committed crimes against good taste and credulity.

The reason I came across the site was because I was looking for the name of the Sydney Mascot - the Swan. Now I know that its name is 'Syd Swannie Skilton". To find out more you can visit Mascot Manor

Mascot Manor

So Syd Swannie Skilton is my 'hack of the week' and here is why...

1. The (mis)appropriation of Bob Skilton's name is a crime that should not go unpunished. Why couldn?t they have called it ?Syd Swannie Saddo.? The character is meant to be comical and engage in slapstick visual humour, so this name seems more appropriate than adding the moniker of our club?s greatest and most respected player.

2. ?Syd Swannie Saddo?, as I will call him from now on, is obviously not up with the times of reconciliation with Melbourne fans. Mascot Manor tells us of Syd?

a. ?He?s grown to love Sydney? ? Hello, no one made him live there. He wasn?t forced to go there. Where was he in the good ?ol days when the Swannettes were around? Probably standing out the front of a car yard with a clapboard, selling dodgy second-hand Hyundais.

b. ?He?s a rebellious type who hates being told what to do, especially by those arrogant Melbournians? Evil Melbournian?s ? damn them all to hell. Evil scum lackeys to that spawn of Satan himself, Andrew Demetriou. Hey, I am from Melbourne and I may be a tosser, but I am not arrogant, just better than most.

3. Syd Swannie Saddo perpetuates stereo typical views of Sydney fans. According to Mascot Manor, Syd ?Loves a Winner?. For goodness sake, I haven?t heard that one for a while. Why don?t they just make him gay, have him constantly drinking Chardonnay and change to supporting League whenever his teams starts to lose.

Unfortunately, our friend Syd Swannie Saddo is but a cynical fabrication of the AFL in their never ending quest to suck the money from the pockets of our innocent children. Give me hello Kitty anyday of the week, even if the small cat has patently nothing to do with Sydney at all.

Syd Swannie Saddo...Hack of the week.

P.S. I feel that the AFL could actually do well with a Andrew 'Fat Controller' Demetriou character in the Mascot Mansion.

Character: Slow witted imbecile who pretends to know what he is doing. He orders around the other mascots and keeps things running smoothly by periodically kicking interferring journalists out of the Mansion.

Lives: Lives in an ivory tower somewhere in Jolimont.

Hobbies: Selling dentures and going to the opera

Likes: Sycophants

Dislikes: Sydney's game plan

[goswannie14]

Hey LA...when is Trevor Hohns going to get a guernsey...or does it need to be a Swans player/official

[ScottH]

I don't know if I'd like Leo Barry's Mug, The spinning eyes would freak me out.

[mocaholic]

Originally posted by ScottH
I don't know if I'd like Leo Barry's Mug, The spinning eyes would freak me out.

Would definitely be a mug to cherish.

[giant]

Right on the money again LA - it's about time someone exposed this tiresome metrosexual sham of a mascot for what it truly is - a Hack.

Syd makes my blood boil in a way that a mascot hasn't done since that amorphous blue blob they used at the Atlanta Olympics.

I mean what's with this line?

"His tongue in cheek sense of humour manages to get him out of most sticky situations."

Could the sexual connotations be more explicit?

I'd prefer to see something more representative of the Bloods spirit being used like some roadkill or at least a stuck pig.

Anyways, well played again LA - another worthy addition to the rogues' gallery that is HOTW.

[woo]

mug would be a great chrissie pressie for dad

[Legs Akimbo]

Originally posted by giant
Right on the money again LA - it's about time someone exposed this tiresome metrosexual sham of a mascot for what it truly is - a Hack.

Syd makes my blood boil in a way that a mascot hasn't done since that amorphous blue blob they used at the Atlanta Olympics.

I mean what's with this line?

"His tongue in cheek sense of humour manages to get him out of most sticky situations."

Could the sexual connotations be more explicit?

I'd prefer to see something more representative of the Bloods spirit being used like some roadkill or at least a stuck pig.

Anyways, well played again LA - another worthy addition to the rogues' gallery that is HOTW.

I missed the bits about tongues, cheeks and sticky. I did not know swans had cheeks