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anyway feedback positive or negative would be appreciated for future reference ... it helps when writing them again! -
I liked it a lot alison, it was informative but concise. Keep 'em coming.
Looks like your predicted matchups were right on the money. And your predicted margin of 22 points should have been correct as well if we didn't try to play keepings off in the last few minutes and stuffing it up.
Perhaps a section or two on the opposition team might be useful although I realise this could be difficult if you don't watch many non-Swans matches. There's a section I've seen in a few other previews, a player to watch in the opposition who is up and coming. A Brad Sewell or Tim Boyle would have been an appropriate choice.Comment
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That was really well written Alison. The only thing you really had wrong was Hall playing a blinder!
The only thing I would ask (which may be you or the editors) is for more paragraph breaks in the earlier parts - I find it easier to read things on screen when the paragraphs are small, rather than reasonably big lumps of text.
I echo Ugg's comments on opposition observations, but overall really good and just keep on the same path!Captain Logic is not steering this tugboat.
"[T]here are things that matter more and he's reading and thinking about them: heaven, reincarnation. Life and death are the only things that are truly a matter of life and death. Not football."Comment
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i'm always being asked my teachers to put paragraphs into my work ... i just dont think i've ever done it!!
thanks for the feedback .... it help to know what things can be improved etc.Comment
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