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The Match Committee: Sydney v Essendon
Longmire: Sit down, gentleman. We?ve got a tough game on Saturday.
Stuart Dew: Ya think so, Horse? It seems like an easy one to me.
Longmire: There are a few things you still don?t understand about coaching Stewy. And one of them is about magnets. A head coach is only as good as his magnets and the problem we?ve got this week is that someone?s been messin? with my magnets. Look at the names on some of these. Ya got these Geelong boys, Kelly and Stokes, here?s Jamar. There?s even one of our boys in here. Harley, I want a full investigation. No cutting corners.
Harley: The magnets are okay John. They?re just the new players added to their list this year. What did you do with the other magnets?
Longmire: I threw them out. I thought it was a hoax. Do we have a backup set?
Harley: Yeah. We usually keep a spare set around here. I?ll call Janene and ask where they are. (On the phone). ??????????. Janene says we should have a spare set in the file cabinet in the corner marked ?Essendon?.
Longmire: Alright. Let me grab them. (Puts his hand in the cabinet and reaches in). OUCH!
Dew: You okay, Horse?
Longmire: No, I?m not okay. I put a hole through my hand and I?m bleeding. Call Gibbsy.
Harley: Gibbsy doesn?t work here anymore. I sacked him.
Longmire: You did what?
Harley: We had to sack him to save money so we could pay for other services. You know. Player extras and consultants and stuff like that.
Longmire: Well what are we going to do? I need a doctor.
Kirk: It doesn?t look so bad to me. Why don?t you put a plaster on it? Meditate for a minute. It should be okay.
Dew: What?s in that cabinet. Let me check it out. Wow, it?s full of needles. I wonder what that?s doing here. Maybe you should call Janene in here and ask her.
Harley: I?ll get her.
Janene: Sorry about that. I forgot to mention about the syringes.
Longmire: What are they doing in here anyway?
Janene: It was Ludwig?s idea.
Longmire: Not him again. Why is he always doing stuff that I don?t know about? How can I coach the team with this sort of stuff going on behind my back?
Janene: Mr. Ireland appointed him Head of Strategic Planning.
Longmire: I hope we?re not paying him much. I don?t even see his name on the expense report. No Ludwig on here.
Janene: It?s under ?Miscellaneous Consulting Services?, just below the line for Manicures & Pedicures.
Longmire: Holy Guacamole! He?s getting paid more than me. Even the manicurist is getting paid more than me. Something?s not right around here. And why in hell does Ludwig want to keep all these needles in here?
Janene: He got them from Dean ?The Weapon? Robinson. He thought it could come in handy just in case Eddie and the Commission tried to take our Academy away. Sort of insurance, I guess.
Dew: See Horse, that?s why Ludwig gets paid more than you. You would have never thought of that.
Longmire: Yes I would have. I was just too busy looking for my magnets. You know, a lot of people were calling me The Weapon back in ?91 after I won the Coleman Medal.
Dew: Plugger won the Coleman that year.
Longmire: Oh yeah. He just edged me out, and only because I was out injured one game.
Dew: He beat ya by 38 goals, Horse.
Longmire: That?s what I was saying. He just edged me out.
Kirk: Can we discuss the game now?
Josh Francou: Hey look everyone. John?s beer belly is gone and he?s growing a lot of hair on his head.
Harley: Wow. It?s growing like crazy. It will be down to your shoulders in a few minutes.
Longmire: Get me a mirror.
Janene: Here?s one.
Longmire: Hey. Not bad. I like it.
Harley: I wonder what was in that needle that went into your hand.
Dew: It?s got something written on it. I think its ?D. Heppel?.
Harley: Maybe the needle had some of Hepple?s DNA left in it.
Rhyce Shaw: Hey Stewy. Look in there for one with the name Watson on it. I?ll take it.
McVeigh: I want the Watson one.
Shaw: I asked first. And stop pointing at me.
Henry Playfair: I?ll take the one marked ?Myers?.
Francou: I want one too.
Harley: Get your hands off the Hurley one. I?d look better than you with a man bun.
Francou: You?re gonna have to fight me for it. I got here first.
Andrew Ireland (hearing the commotion): Boys, boys. Stop fighting. What on hell is going on here? It?s only Essendon. It doesn?t matter who we select this week. Hey John, you?re looking great. You?ve been working out or something?
Longmire: I?m going home to the misses before this stuff wears off.
Longmire: Sit down, gentleman. We?ve got a tough game on Saturday.
Stuart Dew: Ya think so, Horse? It seems like an easy one to me.
Longmire: There are a few things you still don?t understand about coaching Stewy. And one of them is about magnets. A head coach is only as good as his magnets and the problem we?ve got this week is that someone?s been messin? with my magnets. Look at the names on some of these. Ya got these Geelong boys, Kelly and Stokes, here?s Jamar. There?s even one of our boys in here. Harley, I want a full investigation. No cutting corners.
Harley: The magnets are okay John. They?re just the new players added to their list this year. What did you do with the other magnets?
Longmire: I threw them out. I thought it was a hoax. Do we have a backup set?
Harley: Yeah. We usually keep a spare set around here. I?ll call Janene and ask where they are. (On the phone). ??????????. Janene says we should have a spare set in the file cabinet in the corner marked ?Essendon?.
Longmire: Alright. Let me grab them. (Puts his hand in the cabinet and reaches in). OUCH!
Dew: You okay, Horse?
Longmire: No, I?m not okay. I put a hole through my hand and I?m bleeding. Call Gibbsy.
Harley: Gibbsy doesn?t work here anymore. I sacked him.
Longmire: You did what?
Harley: We had to sack him to save money so we could pay for other services. You know. Player extras and consultants and stuff like that.
Longmire: Well what are we going to do? I need a doctor.
Kirk: It doesn?t look so bad to me. Why don?t you put a plaster on it? Meditate for a minute. It should be okay.
Dew: What?s in that cabinet. Let me check it out. Wow, it?s full of needles. I wonder what that?s doing here. Maybe you should call Janene in here and ask her.
Harley: I?ll get her.
Janene: Sorry about that. I forgot to mention about the syringes.
Longmire: What are they doing in here anyway?
Janene: It was Ludwig?s idea.
Longmire: Not him again. Why is he always doing stuff that I don?t know about? How can I coach the team with this sort of stuff going on behind my back?
Janene: Mr. Ireland appointed him Head of Strategic Planning.
Longmire: I hope we?re not paying him much. I don?t even see his name on the expense report. No Ludwig on here.
Janene: It?s under ?Miscellaneous Consulting Services?, just below the line for Manicures & Pedicures.
Longmire: Holy Guacamole! He?s getting paid more than me. Even the manicurist is getting paid more than me. Something?s not right around here. And why in hell does Ludwig want to keep all these needles in here?
Janene: He got them from Dean ?The Weapon? Robinson. He thought it could come in handy just in case Eddie and the Commission tried to take our Academy away. Sort of insurance, I guess.
Dew: See Horse, that?s why Ludwig gets paid more than you. You would have never thought of that.
Longmire: Yes I would have. I was just too busy looking for my magnets. You know, a lot of people were calling me The Weapon back in ?91 after I won the Coleman Medal.
Dew: Plugger won the Coleman that year.
Longmire: Oh yeah. He just edged me out, and only because I was out injured one game.
Dew: He beat ya by 38 goals, Horse.
Longmire: That?s what I was saying. He just edged me out.
Kirk: Can we discuss the game now?
Josh Francou: Hey look everyone. John?s beer belly is gone and he?s growing a lot of hair on his head.
Harley: Wow. It?s growing like crazy. It will be down to your shoulders in a few minutes.
Longmire: Get me a mirror.
Janene: Here?s one.
Longmire: Hey. Not bad. I like it.
Harley: I wonder what was in that needle that went into your hand.
Dew: It?s got something written on it. I think its ?D. Heppel?.
Harley: Maybe the needle had some of Hepple?s DNA left in it.
Rhyce Shaw: Hey Stewy. Look in there for one with the name Watson on it. I?ll take it.
McVeigh: I want the Watson one.
Shaw: I asked first. And stop pointing at me.
Henry Playfair: I?ll take the one marked ?Myers?.
Francou: I want one too.
Harley: Get your hands off the Hurley one. I?d look better than you with a man bun.
Francou: You?re gonna have to fight me for it. I got here first.
Andrew Ireland (hearing the commotion): Boys, boys. Stop fighting. What on hell is going on here? It?s only Essendon. It doesn?t matter who we select this week. Hey John, you?re looking great. You?ve been working out or something?
Longmire: I?m going home to the misses before this stuff wears off.
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