Can anybody fill me in?

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  • Primmy
    Proud Tragic Swan
    • Apr 2008
    • 5970

    #16
    If you've never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from lava then you didn't have a childhood

    Comment

    • Matimbo
      Warming the Bench
      • Apr 2009
      • 334

      #17
      Originally posted by Velour&Ruffles
      The quiet word on the street is that the Swans may be intrested in Kurt Tippett, but that he has a few contractual issues with the Crows to surmount before he could join us. I don't want to create any false hopes or pointless chatter, but has anyone heard anything about this?
      I can bring you up to speed in a single sentence ...

      Homesick-legally-illiterate-boy duped by unscrupulous-player-manager and sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs; finds himself stuck without a wave to paddle, forced to perform in demeaning pie ads to earn secret bonus salary he thought was all above board ... seeks move to wave-infested- premiership-winning-culturally-inspiring-team he can call home that isn't necessarily where he grew up but still filled with previously unknown relatives of his ... unscrupulous-player-manager rubs hands, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs annoyed, adoring-crow-eating-fans suddenly always hated him ... horse-trading bogged, lawyers rub hands, Jessie tweets, hater-of-anything-not-Melbourne-Caro-Wilson says Swans guilty as sin, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs mea-culpa ... conflicted-incompetent-governing-body lays charges, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs pre-emptive-show-of-good-faith-own-goal-draft-sit-out, jealous-of-all-the-attention-Sheady throws red herrings, no-idea-press lap it up, homesick-legally-illiterate-boy says nothing but still guilty of crimes against humanity, lawyers lob threats, lawyers withdraw threats (but don?t withdraw their bills), homesick-legally-illiterate-boy delists himself and nominates for PSD ... Emma Quayle gets the good oil, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs and homesick-legally-illiterate-boy have fun-filled trip to Melbourne, conflicted-incompetent-governing-body takes all day to announce penalties despite everyone pleading guilty and backroom agreement being made days before ... press conference bigger than the Bronlow gala, hater-of-anything-not-Melbourne-Caro-Wilson asks stupid questions, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs cop it sweet, crow-eating-fans demand a sword-fall but get nothing, homesick-legally-illiterate-boy bitterly disappointed, unscrupulous-player-manager nervous, conflicted-incompetent-governing-body thinks they've done a superb job but nobody else does ... and next week everybody plays fair, jealous-of-all-the-attention-Sheady keeps powder dry, homesick-legally-illiterate-boy picked up by wave-infested-premiership-winning-culturally-inspiring team, everyone lives happily ever after.

      Clear as mud???
      CIA Agent to Policeman: "Have you ever had anti-terrorist training?"
      Policeman: "Yes, I was married once."

      Comment

      • GongSwan
        Senior Player
        • Jan 2009
        • 1362

        #18
        Well done
        You can't argue with a sick mind - Joe Walsh

        Comment

        • ScottH
          It's Goodes to cheer!!
          • Sep 2003
          • 23665

          #19
          Originally posted by Matimbo
          I can bring you up to speed in a single sentence ...

          Homesick-legally-illiterate-boy duped by unscrupulous-player-manager and sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs; finds himself stuck without a wave to paddle, forced to perform in demeaning pie ads to earn secret bonus salary he thought was all above board ... seeks move to wave-infested- premiership-winning-culturally-inspiring-team he can call home that isn't necessarily where he grew up but still filled with previously unknown relatives of his ... unscrupulous-player-manager rubs hands, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs annoyed, adoring-crow-eating-fans suddenly always hated him ... horse-trading bogged, lawyers rub hands, Jessie tweets, hater-of-anything-not-Melbourne-Caro-Wilson says Swans guilty as sin, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs mea-culpa ... conflicted-incompetent-governing-body lays charges, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs pre-emptive-show-of-good-faith-own-goal-draft-sit-out, jealous-of-all-the-attention-Sheady throws red herrings, no-idea-press lap it up, homesick-legally-illiterate-boy says nothing but still guilty of crimes against humanity, lawyers lob threats, lawyers withdraw threats (but don?t withdraw their bills), homesick-legally-illiterate-boy delists himself and nominates for PSD ... Emma Quayle gets the good oil, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs and homesick-legally-illiterate-boy have fun-filled trip to Melbourne, conflicted-incompetent-governing-body takes all day to announce penalties despite everyone pleading guilty and backroom agreement being made days before ... press conference bigger than the Bronlow gala, hater-of-anything-not-Melbourne-Caro-Wilson asks stupid questions, sell-their-own-souls-to-the-devil-club-execs cop it sweet, crow-eating-fans demand a sword-fall but get nothing, homesick-legally-illiterate-boy bitterly disappointed, unscrupulous-player-manager nervous, conflicted-incompetent-governing-body thinks they've done a superb job but nobody else does ... and next week everybody plays fair, jealous-of-all-the-attention-Sheady keeps powder dry, homesick-legally-illiterate-boy picked up by wave-infested-premiership-winning-culturally-inspiring team, everyone lives happily ever after.

          Clear as mud???
          Wow. almost 3000 posts summed into one sentence.

          Comment

          • Primmy
            Proud Tragic Swan
            • Apr 2008
            • 5970

            #20
            I'd say that's it in a nutshell.
            If you've never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from lava then you didn't have a childhood

            Comment

            • 707
              Veterans List
              • Aug 2009
              • 6204

              #21
              Brilliantly put. Concise and to the point without missing anything and all in just one sentence. Hope that answered the original query.

              Oh, nice that Caro got a mention too.

              Comment

              • jono2707
                Goes up to 11
                • Oct 2007
                • 3326

                #22
                Just to save Annie the need to post on this this thread:

                "lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalala"

                Comment

                • Dosser
                  Just wild about Harry
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 1833

                  #23
                  He missed a comma.

                  Comment

                  • Primmy
                    Proud Tragic Swan
                    • Apr 2008
                    • 5970

                    #24
                    Originally posted by Dosser
                    He missed a comma.
                    If you've never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from lava then you didn't have a childhood

                    Comment

                    • AnnieH
                      RWOs Black Sheep
                      • Aug 2006
                      • 11332

                      #25
                      Originally posted by jono2707
                      Just to save Annie the need to post on this this thread:

                      "lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalala"
                      I was going to say that Matimbo missed my la la la's.
                      Thanks Jono.
                      Wild speculation, unsubstantiated rumours, silly jokes and opposition delight in another's failures is what makes an internet forum fun.
                      Blessed are the cracked for they are the ones who let in the light.

                      Comment

                      • BigBarryRound25
                        Glutton for punishment
                        • Oct 2007
                        • 59

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Dosser
                        He missed a comma.
                        If you listen to the crows fans, one more concussion and he'll lapse into a comma
                        Silence is golden
                        Duct tape is silver

                        Comment

                        • satchmopugdog
                          Bandicoots ears
                          • Apr 2004
                          • 3691

                          #27
                          Originally posted by BigBarryRound25
                          If you listen to the crows fans, one more concussion and he'll lapse into a comma
                          That's funny ..very funny indeed
                          "The Dog days are over, The Dog days are gone" Florence and the Machine

                          Comment

                          • AnnieH
                            RWOs Black Sheep
                            • Aug 2006
                            • 11332

                            #28
                            He's concussion prone????

                            OMG.

                            What are the swans thinking????
                            Wild speculation, unsubstantiated rumours, silly jokes and opposition delight in another's failures is what makes an internet forum fun.
                            Blessed are the cracked for they are the ones who let in the light.

                            Comment

                            • Primmy
                              Proud Tragic Swan
                              • Apr 2008
                              • 5970

                              #29
                              Just in case you have missed it, this is a very funny thread.
                              If you've never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from lava then you didn't have a childhood

                              Comment

                              • ShockOfHair
                                One Man Out
                                • Dec 2007
                                • 3668

                                #30
                                Originally posted by AnnieH
                                He's concussion prone????

                                OMG.

                                What are the swans thinking????
                                You really didn't know? One more concussion and his career comes to a full stop.

                                Don't hold back, Annie!

                                I'm not an anti-Tippettist but I'm sure the deal looked a lot better after the fifth bottle of Krug on grand final night.
                                The man who laughs has not yet heard the terrible news

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