Should I (we) go to cheer the Swans over Collingwood?

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  • Big Al
    Veterans List
    • Feb 2005
    • 7007

    #46
    I posted this last year. It's my favourite Collingwood Joke ever...

    A Collingwood supporter went down to Centrelink to claim welfare after realizing she was the only one of her friends - (who were all Collingwood supporters) - who was not on benefits.
    "How many children do you have?" the man at Centrelink asked.
    "Ten," she replied.
    "What are their names?"
    "Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn and Jaidyn," she replied.
    "They're all named Jaidyn?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
    "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'Jaidyn,' and they all come running in."
    "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
    "I just say, 'Jaidyn, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
    "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
    "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name."
    ..And the Swans are the Premiers...The Ultimate Team...The Ultimate Warriors. They have overcome the highly fancied Hawks in brilliant style. Sydney the 2012 Premiers - Gerard Whately ABC

    Here it is Again! - Huddo SEN

    Comment

    • Untamed Snark
      Senior Player
      • Feb 2011
      • 1375

      #47
      Is it time for the annual collingwood joke thread?

      -You are trapped in a room with a crocodile, a tiger and a Collingwood fan. You have a gun with 2 bullets. What do you do?
      Shoot the Collingwood fan ? Twice

      -What do you call a group of Collingwood supporters running off in the same direction?
      Jailbreak

      -What's got 100 legs and 4 teeth?
      The front row of the Collingwood cheer squad.
      Chillin' with the strange Quarks

      Comment

      • Big Al
        Veterans List
        • Feb 2005
        • 7007

        #48
        Quasimodo asks Esmeralda: "Am I really the ugliest bastard in the world?"
        "Why don't you go upstairs to the Magic Mirror and ask?" says Esmeralda. Quasimodo goes upstairs to the mirror and returns a few minutes later. As he hobbles in Esmeralda asks: "Well, what did the mirror say?"
        To which Quasimodo replies: "Who's Joffa?"
        ..And the Swans are the Premiers...The Ultimate Team...The Ultimate Warriors. They have overcome the highly fancied Hawks in brilliant style. Sydney the 2012 Premiers - Gerard Whately ABC

        Here it is Again! - Huddo SEN

        Comment

        • Triple B
          Formerly 'BBB'
          • Feb 2003
          • 6999

          #49
          A well known public figure was found dead in his office from an apparent drug overdose and dressed in a Collingwood jumper and shorts. The police quickly changed him into some lingerie and high heels so as to not embarass his family...
          Driver of the Dan Hannebery bandwagon....all aboard. 4th April 09

          Comment

          • aardvark
            Veterans List
            • Mar 2010
            • 5685

            #50
            A family of Collingwood supporters heads out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting.
            While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Geelong footy jumper and says
            to his 10 year old sister, "Hey mole, I've decided to become a Geelong
            supporter and I want this for Christmas".

            His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with
            her carton of Winfield's and says, "Dickhead, go talk to mum".
            Off goes the little lad with the Geelong jumper stuffed up his miller shirt and finds his mum.
            "Mum?"
            "Yes son?"
            "I've decided I'm going to be a Geelong supporter and I want thisjumper for Christmas".
            The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a
            fullstubbie of VB at him, smacks him in the gob and says "Let's go talk
            to your father!"
            Off they go to the prison camp during visiting hours, with footy jumper in hand and find Moose, his toothless tattooed father.
            "Dad?"
            "Yes, Knackers?"
            "I've decided I'm going to be a Geelong supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas".
            Moose goes berserk and gives his son an almighty backhander and says,
            "No bastard of mine is ever going to be seen wearing that @@@@!", and
            then kicks his arse from one end of the rec-room to the other, just for
            good measure.
            About half an hour later they're all back in the old Falcon andheading
            towards home. The mother turns to her son and says,"Knackers, have you
            learned something today?"
            The son says "Bloody oath I have!"
            "Good Knackers, what is it?"
            The son replies,

            "I've only been a Geelong supporter for a day, and already I hate you Collingwood pricks!?

            Comment

            • Untamed Snark
              Senior Player
              • Feb 2011
              • 1375

              #51
              Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.
              All the typical answers came out: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.
              However, Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father ..
              Billy responded: "My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
              The teacher quickly sent the other children outside with some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if what he'd said was really true.
              "No" said Billy ,"He plays AFL football for the Collingwood Football Club but I was just too embarrassed to say ..."
              Chillin' with the strange Quarks

              Comment

              • Random Yank
                On the Rookie List
                • Jun 2011
                • 21

                #52
                This is really getting good.

                I promise not to steal the good jokes and apply them to my most unfavorite teams stateside. (not).

                I think we're going to have a bang up time rooting, oops, barracking for the Swans.

                Is it a requirement to all Aussies to ahve a rollicking good sense of humor? Never met one without.

                Comment

                • Primmy
                  Proud Tragic Swan
                  • Apr 2008
                  • 5970

                  #53
                  Your dreadful Muriel!! I larfed and larfed; wish I had a non PC Collingwood story, but all I have is fact, and that's not the same.
                  If you've never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from lava then you didn't have a childhood

                  Comment

                  • Big Al
                    Veterans List
                    • Feb 2005
                    • 7007

                    #54
                    Originally posted by Random Yank
                    Is it a requirement to all Aussies to ahve a rollicking good sense of humor? Never met one without.
                    We also put rubbers in our kids pencil cases

                    Men wear thongs in summer

                    We have 8 of the top 10 poisonous snakes in the world... And we're bloody proud of the fact.

                    We believe that all famous kiwis are actually Aussies until they @@@@ up at which point they become Kiwis again.

                    We also think it's natural that our $1 coin is bigger than our $2 coin.
                    ..And the Swans are the Premiers...The Ultimate Team...The Ultimate Warriors. They have overcome the highly fancied Hawks in brilliant style. Sydney the 2012 Premiers - Gerard Whately ABC

                    Here it is Again! - Huddo SEN

                    Comment

                    • Cheer Squad
                      Sydney Swans
                      • Apr 2007
                      • 1948

                      #55
                      Originally posted by Random Yank
                      Is it a requirement to all Aussies to have a rollicking good sense of humor? Never met one without.
                      When you kick a point in Aussie Rules, it's called "kicking a behind".

                      Our Conservative Party is called the Liberal Party.

                      We think Vegemite and avocado is delicious!

                      Comment

                      • Untamed Snark
                        Senior Player
                        • Feb 2011
                        • 1375

                        #56
                        Originally posted by Random Yank

                        Is it a requirement to all Aussies to ahve a rollicking good sense of humor? Never met one without.
                        A Tea-Party involves cake

                        We instinctively know the difference between chips, fries and crisps

                        Oh-rollicking can have a different meaning here

                        Beer is considered a national pass time
                        Chillin' with the strange Quarks

                        Comment

                        • Random Yank
                          On the Rookie List
                          • Jun 2011
                          • 21

                          #57
                          Originally posted by Untamed Snark

                          Oh-rollicking can have a different meaning here

                          Beer is considered a national pass time
                          Okay, so I cannot use the term 'rollicking' down under? dayum.

                          I am well aware that Foster's is NOT Australian for beer, contrary to the tele adverts here.

                          Comment

                          • Big Al
                            Veterans List
                            • Feb 2005
                            • 7007

                            #58
                            Originally posted by Random Yank
                            Okay, so I cannot use the term 'rollicking' down under? dayum.

                            I am well aware that Foster's is NOT Australian for beer, contrary to the tele adverts here.
                            Fosters tastes like dirty dishwater and no one here drinks it which is why we export to your mob.
                            ..And the Swans are the Premiers...The Ultimate Team...The Ultimate Warriors. They have overcome the highly fancied Hawks in brilliant style. Sydney the 2012 Premiers - Gerard Whately ABC

                            Here it is Again! - Huddo SEN

                            Comment

                            • Random Yank
                              On the Rookie List
                              • Jun 2011
                              • 21

                              #59
                              Originally posted by Big Al
                              Fosters tastes like dirty dishwater and no one here drinks it which is why we export to your mob.
                              Not my mob, but I have heard of some wankers drinking it.

                              Tastes like pisswater (can I say that here?)

                              Comment

                              • AnnieH
                                RWOs Black Sheep
                                • Aug 2006
                                • 11332

                                #60
                                Originally posted by Random Yank
                                Is it a requirement to all Aussies to ahve a rollicking good sense of humor? Never met one without.
                                Abso-freakin-lutely son.
                                EVERYTYHING is funny - even if it's not supposed to be.
                                Wild speculation, unsubstantiated rumours, silly jokes and opposition delight in another's failures is what makes an internet forum fun.
                                Blessed are the cracked for they are the ones who let in the light.

                                Comment

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