Swans V Pies

[Trickster]

A primary teacher explains to her class that she is a Collingwood fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Collingwood fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Collingwood fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Collingwood fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Swans fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Swans fan?" "Because my Mum is a Swans fan, and my Dad is a Swans fan, so I'm a Swans too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Swans fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Collingwood fan."

***************



This professor of psychology at Monash Uni built a truth-telling chair. Every time someone sitting it lied, the bottom of the chair - essentially a trapdoor mechanism - collapsed sending the seated person flying to the ground. He knew it worked - he'd tried it. But he had to do some research before any one would believe him.

So he advertised in the Herald Sun for volunteers to come along and they'd get a fiver for their troubles, every hour. He received loads of replies and as such was able to take from any selection he liked. As a control for the experiment he decided to pick football supporters, and invited three along for the first day of trials.

Anyway, the first day came and an Essendon fan arrived, he sat in the chair and began to speak. "I think Essendon Football Club are definitely the third force in Australian Rules Football..." and instantly the chair collapsed, sending him sprawling to the floor before he could carry on.

Next, a Adelaide fan arrived, he sat in the chairand began to speak... "I think Adelaide are still capable of mounting a similar challenge on the title as last season" and instantly the chair collapsed, sending him sprawling to the floor before he could carry on.

Then a Collingwood fan arrived, he sat in the chair and began to speak... "I think..." and instantly the chair collapsed sending him sprawling to the floor.

[cruiser]

Is this a thread to talk about the game this weekend or oneto tell your favourite Collingwood joke? Maybe we should separate the two?

[laughingnome]

Is this a thread to talk about the game this weekend or oneto tell your favourite Collingwood joke? Maybe we should separate the two?

You can't talk about Collingwood without making fun of Collingwood. Not even Einstein could split those two.

[Bas]

Is this a thread to talk about the game this weekend or oneto tell your favourite Collingwood joke? Maybe we should separate the two?

Stop being a boring fuddy duddy.

How do they seperate the men from the boys in the Collingwood Football Club.? Usually with crow bars.

Did you hear Didak stayed up all night studying for his urine test last week.

If the premiership is a cake walk, why haven't they won one in 20 years?

[swantastic]

Stop being a boring fuddy duddy.

How do they seperate the men from the boys in the Collingwood Football Club.? Usually with crow bars.

Did you hear Didak stayed up all night studying for his urine test last week.

If the premiership is a cake walk, why haven't they won one in 20 years?

hahaha Bas good ones

[Big Al]

Swans V Pies

Is this a thread to talk about the game this weekend or oneto tell your favourite Collingwood joke? Maybe we should separate the two?

Thread is Swans V Pies. Swans supporters sledging Pies supporters certainly fits doesn't it???

[Big Al]

Swans V Pies

Last one from me:

A Collingwood supporter went down to Centrelink to claim welfare after realising she was the only one of her friends - (who were all Collingwood supporters) - who was not on benefits.
"How many children do you have?" the man at Centrelink asked.
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?"
"Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn and Jaidyn," she replied.
"They're all named Jaidyn?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'Jaidyn,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'Jaidyn, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name."

[Reggi]

Temporary truce called in Sydney's turf war

http://www.smh.com.au/afl/afl-news/temporary-truce-called-in-sydneys-turf-war-20100622-yvso.html

This article really emphasis to me what goes wrong or is wrong with Sport's journalists. They get interested in the gossip and melodrama of their industry and forget supporters really don't give a ####. We want to know who's playing - will Smiffy towell up Divdak - Will GAry Rohan play - how is Roosy thinking of beating them

Instead we find out 400 GWS supporters are going to eat Chiko Rolls before the game. Who cares.

AFL gains ground in Sydney's greater west

http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/afl-gains-ground-in-sydneys-greater-west-20100622-yvqm.html

I have a fair amount of sports research via work, IIRC around 36% of people say they regularly watch Rugby 16% AFL in Western Sydney. But that's not reflective of their relative level of involvement I would suggest. 6% in Melb have watched any form Rugby, 56% AFL for relativity

Didn't look at V8 supercars

[cruiser]

Thread is Swans V Pies. Swans supporters sledging Pies supporters certainly fits doesn't it??? I started this to put a smile on peoples faces. Sorry Cruiser if it's not exactly in the right forum for you

Dont be so bloody precious. I didnt ask that people stop telling Collingwood jokes, I only suggested that we split the jokes from match discussion into another thread.

[Big Al]

Swans V Pies

Dont be so bloody precious. I didnt ask that people stop telling Collingwood jokes, I only suggested that we split the jokes from match discussion into another thread.

Whose being precious? People who know me are rolling around on the floor at the moment. I merely stated that Sledging Collingwood belongs in the this thread titled the way it is.

Edit: just read the last bit if my previous post and Cruiser, it does sound a bit pissy and that wasn't my intention. I have removed it.

[Margo]

Come on lads, this is just typical of C'wood bringing out the worst in us. Shake hands and think about how to get to them. Maybe we could hand out flyers of some of the best jokes at the game ? Let the tyres down on the bus ?

[Trickster]

Come on lads, this is just typical of C'wood bringing out the worst in us. Shake hands and think about how to get to them. Maybe we could hand out flyers of some of the best jokes at the game ? Let the tyres down on the bus ?

I've always wanted to wrap a team bus in gladwrap...

[Wardy]

I've always wanted to wrap a team bus in gladwrap...

hmm that sounds like fun!!!

[ash3]

So what seats are under cover at ANZ seeing they are forcasting rain?
We're sitting on the 2nd deck I think in the platnum section? Sorry, I've only been there a few times (I'm from Melbourne)

[ugg]

So what seats are under cover at ANZ seeing they are forcasting rain?
We're sitting on the 2nd deck I think in the platnum section? Sorry, I've only been there a few times (I'm from Melbourne)

2nd deck (the 400s) are definitely is under cover.