AFL Round 11 - Sydney v Geelong: Jumping Through (around, over and under) The Hoops

For the past two weeks, I have revisited the bachelor lifestyle as my wife has been in the nation?s capital on a work assignment. My in-laws know all too well that my efforts to provide for myself have been questionable in the past, and so, offer a roast dinner which I simply cannot refuse. Tonight, the Swans play the Cats. My father-in-law is a proud Geelong man. In five years of knowing each other, and becoming good mates, we have never sat down and enjoyed a contest between our two great sides. This should be an interesting night...

The first match of indigenous round sees the Bloods wearing a guernsey which has been designed by Goodesy?s mum and I like it. For our three indigenous boys, Goodesy, Buddy and Jets, this round must take on some extra significance. We are blessed to have been afforded the opportunity to watch these three superstars grace our Sydney turf. The Enemy have been a great side. They have generally had the wood on us over the past six or seven winters, but I feel as though we?re a good show on this Thursday night. I have heard during the week that old ?Stevie J? feels as though the Swans are his bunnies. Like McGrath with Atherton, the mercurial midfielder believes he has our number.

The ball is bounced, and as quick as you can say ?Mal?s flat top? Tippo has the ball in the dukes about fifteen metres from goal and steadying for a set shot. He missed. However, it doesn?t take long before we are on the board. Shawry turns the ball over, sprints thirty metres to get it back, fires a handball to Buddy on the run through the corridor, who nails a fifty metre bullet to Tippo on the run. Poetry in bloody motion! Tippo nails his first and we?re away. Parksy does a brilliant impersonation of a human cannonball, crunching Varcoe on the cricket pitch. Goodesy?s looking sharp and snaps his first. By the time Tippo snaps another and Buddy gets his first from a free, we?ve bagged the first four of the match. My dinner guests are surprisingly quiet at quarter time as we take a twenty-five point lead into the first change.

As James Kelly?s name appears on my screen as The Enemy?s major ball winner, I am reminded of the offense I felt when he feigned falling asleep whilst singing the Cats? song after a win against us. Bored are we Jimmy? Hmmm... The second stanza starts with a BANG as Birdy continues his improvement and goes whack from forty. This roast is delicious. When Shawry sets up Tippo for the third time tonight, we have the first six! I am struggling to maintain my composure as the in-laws hope for a spirited fightback. Our handballs out of congestion are something to behold and catapulting us from defence into attack. We are quick. The Enemy are not. How times have changed.

I have a confession to make. Jimmy Bartel is one of my favourite players. I?ll tell you why. As a young man, owing my parents a hefty sum of cash after an overseas sojourn, I placed the largest wager of my life on him to win the Brownlow in 2007. Jimmy won, I paid off my debt and danced around the living room with uninhibited glee. My father in law laughed at my story. He is not laughing at the footy. Goodesy snaps another trademark goal, young Lloydy buries another, and we go into the main break with a forty-eight point lead and looking the Goodes. The Fox Footy panel seem flat. They have finally realised the powerful running unit that we are and they seem disappointed. I am not.

Andrew Mackie appears unusually quiet. A man who was full of advice when The Enemy were dominant, seems bereft of a voice at all. BAAAALLLLLLLL!!!! Benny wins a free in front of The Ladies Stand and we launch into yet another attack. Flashbacks of our previous beatings to this lot are making this performance even more enjoyable. I politely suggest that The Enemy are just ?off their game? in my attempt to keep the peace. We are relentless to night, and when big T Dex kicks two in a row, you know that it truly is our night. Three quarter time brings with a mammoth seventy-eight point lead.

The final quarter equals party-time at the SCG. The locals have turned out in force, are by now well lubricated and they are liking what they are seeing out on the ground. Hanners finishes another sweeping end to end move and we?ve cracked the ton! The Enemy have sixteen points and the SYYYYYYDNEEEEEYYYYY chant goes up. Kizza snaps a beauty and this win will put us up into the Top 3 teams of the competition. The boys are enjoying this. So am I. Tippo and Buddy combine for a goal that would make the strikers of Man Utd proud and this is a full-blown Red and White party as the lead stretches to ninety-nine....When Tippo smashes through his fifth, the hundred point lead is achieved! Happy days! Jets delivers a long bomb from outside fifty on the siren and the Swannies beat the Cats by a whopping one-hundred and ten points!!! The crowd bursts into song and I farewell my guests. A subdued politeness is immediately replaced by an irreplaceable joy as I come to the realisation that we are white hot!

Sydney 22.16 (148)
Geelong 5.8 (38)

Best:
Sydney: Bird, Tippett, Shaw, Franklin, Kennedy, Goodes, Malceski, Richards
Geelong: Hawkins, Bartel, Stokes, Horlin-Smith

Goals:
Sydney: Tippett 5, Franklin 4, Goodes 3, Jack, Derickx, Hannebery 2, Bird, Lloyd, McGlynn, Jetta
Geelong: Hawkins 3, Simpson, Johnson

Crowd:
37,355 at SCG

Umpires:
Fisher, Nicholls, Ryan

Votes:
3 ? Craig Bird
2 ? Rhyce Shaw
1 ? Kurt Tippett